Today is the 9 year anniversary of my older brothers death. I guess I was lucky in the grieving department in a way because 2 weeks after Andy died, we found out I was pregnant with McKenna so my pregnancy was a blessing in disguise for many reasons. Andy and I had become extremely close over the years and I literally worshipped the ground he walked on. I knew he wasn't perfect by any means, but that didn't stand in my way. I've never really known one of my brothers and my brother Robbie is autistic so I was always more of a big sister to him instead of a little sister.
Okay, I'm jumping a head a bit. Andy is my brother from my father, we didn't actually meet each other until I was 11. Well, it didn't take any time for us to bond and it was like we had been raised together all of our lives. He was the big brother I never had growing up and I was absolutely over joyed to finally know him. At 11 you never really look far enough into the future to think that something could happen, he'll I don't think you really realize something could happen until you're fully grown and you understand the concept of life. So, when I received the phone call 14 years later that my 25 year old big brother had been killed in a car wreck.... I was devastated to say the least. I refused to believe it, until I was forced to see him lying lifeless in that coffin. That's an imagine I have tried to forget for 9 years!
My entire point here is that losing someone you love is horrendous and it changes you life drastically. Over time you learn how to accept the loss and how to live life without that person. However, you never truly heal.... Some pain always remains. What makes it easier is realizing that they would want you to have a full life and to carry on their memory. So, I have a picture of my brother hanging on my living room wall and sometimes one of the kids will ask me something about Uncle Andy.... That's when I get to share some of the most amazing memories of him with them.
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